Forbearance is a quality that is rarely taught in our society today. To forbear means to tolerate with what is less than what one is due; to be longsuffering or patience. The Apostle Paul wrote: “Rejoice in the Lord always! Again I will say, Rejoice! Let your gentleness [or forbearing spirit] be known to all men. The Lord is at hand,” Philippians 4:4, 5. The world ought to see a Christian’s willingness to forbear through God’s grace the difficulties that bring out the worst in others. But rather today we are taught to demand our rights and to protest at any disrespect even if unintentional. Yet we would do better if we would discipline ourselves to forbear. Forbearance or patience is included in the list of fruit of the Spirit. Thus, we as believers have the capacity to forbear in difficult and uncomfortable situation if we will draw on God, who is our source. After all God is always demonstrating his forbearance with us as Paul states in Romans 2:4 “…do you despise the riches of his goodness, forbearance, and patience, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” Since God forbears with us we can forbear with others because we are partakers of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:5).
But, you my say, “I don’t feel like tolerating this situation I’m in!” Well, it is not about going with our feelings but rather going by faith and going by what the word says about us. The Lord is not unconcerned about our circumstances, but he has a way out if we are willing to follow him. What steps then can we follow to develop forbearance in our lives?
1. First we need to learn to die to self, to our own wishes, desires and sometimes even to our own needs. It not considering that’s oneself is worthless or without value. We are God’s creation and we are created in his image, thus we are already persons of great worth and value no matter what our status is in life. So recognizing the value and love that God has for us we commit our needs, wants and desires to him; letting him focus on those things while we focus on the tasks the Lord has assigned us. That is what Paul meant when he urged us to be living sacrifices in Romans 12:1. When the urge comes to fight or seek after self-interest we can remind ourselves that self is no longer important, what is important is accomplishing the will of God and his righteousness. And God will take care of all the other issues.
2. Since we are to live by faith (the just shall live by faith Romans 1:17) then by faith we receive the strength and wisdom to forbear.
3. Just like we saw above when Paul said in Philippians 4:4 that the Lord is near, we recognize the presence of the Lord Jesus living in us and that we can do all things through Christ, God’s anointed One who is strengthening us (Philippians 4:13)! The writer of Hebrews tells us to “consider him who has endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, that you don’t grow weary, fainting in your souls,” Hebrews 12:3. We can stop looking at our own strength or weakness and start looking at the Lord’s strength that is available to us. Like Paul in Galatians 2:20 we can say, “I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I that live, but Christ living in me. That life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself up for me.”
Thus, with our mind off of our own fears, anxieties and lack we can develop through practice the ability to forbear so that we can accomplish God’s higher purposes; God’s purposes that bring glory to his name and that advances the cause of Christ. You see forbearance is not an end in itself. It is a means to a destination as King David recorded in Psalms 66:12, “You allowed men to ride over our heads. We went through fire and through water, but you brought us to the place of abundance.” Just like an ice breaker forbears as it travels through seas of ice covered waters and then reaches the ocean open and free of obstacles so too is forbearance for us. Their is a place of greater opportunity waiting on the other side of our current difficulty. Let us not miss it!